One Month Checkup

Today was Laila's one month checkup! She is now 21 inches long and 8 pounds 2 ounces (as a refresher, she was born 19.5 inches long and 6 pounds 8 ounces). Everything looks good and healthy - so that's great! She does have a little case of dermatitis, but the doctor said it should go away on its own in about a month or so. In the mean time she told us we could put aquaphor on it and wash it with diluted baby wash once a day. She did really well at the doctor, but then again she didn't need to get any shots - apparently those start next month. Not excited for that! The doctor told me that I should probably introduce a bottle soon since nursing is well established because if we wait too long then she can have issues using the bottle. I wonder if she will have issues with it anyway - I know she has issues with the pacifier - she usually gags on it a bit. She definitely can't keep it in her mouth - you have to hold it there - but that's not that uncommon. There were a few babies who were a few month olds at work who still had trouble keeping their pacifier in for long.
On a completely different note, she has been sleeping with her eyes wide open more often which is both slightly creepy and funny. Mostly it just makes it hard to tell when she is actually awake or asleep. The other night my husband commented on how calm she was because she was just laying in her co-sleeper between us wide awake ... it took him about ten minutes to realize that she was actually asleep.
AMAZING NEWS - the night before last Laila went five hours between feedings!!!! This is the longest she has ever gone and it meant that I got about four hours of sleep! Oh my god, it was amazing. I was a bit disappointed when she didn't sleep that well last night, but oh well. Fingers crossed she does it tonight.

Fever

I have a fever - awesome. It has been fluctuating since last night between 99.4 and 100.1. Thankfully it hasn't gotten any higher then that. I called my OB just incase it was due to a complication with the delivery and to see what medications I can take while I am breastfeeding. She said it sounds like I might have the flu and that if it gets any worse or doesn't improve over time then to go to the Dr and to call Laila's pediatrician. Awesome. I really hope it is just a wicked cold and that it gets better ASAP because 1) I am terrified of getting Laila sick and 2) being sick and not being able to sleep through the night is horrible. Ugh. I just feel miserable. I'm achey and weak and tired. Every part of my body hurts. But the worst part is by far the fear of getting Laila sick and not being able to kiss her and hold her close. Yes - I am still breastfeeding, but it's not the same as cuddling with her. Something about tugging on my nipples ruins it a bit. I just hope drinking my breast milk keeps her from getting sick.

Wish me luck

So tomorrow Enzio has this job interview in the city - bright and early! And it's not just any old interview - no no - he has to run a mile, do push ups and sit up and pull ups. Needless to say he is going to need his rest, so tonight he is sleeping on the couch so he can sleep through the night. That means that I will be on Laila duty all by myself! I'm a bit nervous. Last night I was so tired I think I may have fallen asleep briefly while nursing - either that or I was so tired that I forgot her unlatching. Either way - not good! They always say never fall asleep while nursing - but I couldn't help it - it's not like I chose to fall asleep. Anyway. Usually Enzio does diaper duty and then I feed her and then hold her for at least another ten minutes to make sure she is truly asleep before putting her down. And then usually once during the night/morning if she is really fussy and not falling back to sleep I will ask Enzio to tend to her needs so that I can go back to sleep. But tonight I will be on diaper, feeding and comforting duty. Who knows, maybe having to physically get up out of bed will help me wake up a bit more and make it a less painful process .. but somehow I seriously doubt that. God, I'm just getting more and more tired! At least she is eating less often - it used to be that she ate every 1-2 hours, with the occasional 3 hour period. Now she tends to eat every 2-3 hours and once in a blue moon every four hours. So hopefully she will eat every 3 hours tonight - maybe even four at one point! - and maybe she will not have any awake periods. I'm feeling hopeful about her sleeping at least fairly well since she was more awake today than usual. Mostly I just hope that she doesn't do what she did last night where she was up for three hours with really bad gas/constant pooping which made her miserable!

It's kind of crazy how she is slowly getting more and more alert. And of course, with that alertness comes demands! Before she was content to lie awake in your arms while you did whatever your little heart desired. Now, however, she usually needs attention. She either needs to be bounced about or she wants you looking at her and talking to her. I've also noticed that she is starting to smile while she is awake! Yesterday and today I got her to smile by talking to her and making funny noises at her. It only works once in a while, but still - VERY EXCITING!

Cold

We brought Laila to the doctor today because she has a cold. Her nose has been stuffed up for a few days, but it has gotten slightly worse. Also, her voice has gone a tad bit hoarse. So the doctor wanted us to bring her in just to make sure she was okay since she is so young. Thankfully everything is fine and they told us what to look for and when to call vs. go to the emergency room. Laila has literally been to the doctor every week since she was born - and she is going again next week for her one month check up. My insurance must be so pleased.

Anyway - yesterday Ella came and visited and we took some pictures! I wanted some really nice ones of Laila and me and some of Enzio, Laila, and me. So far most of the pictures are just my husband and her, or just her alone because I'm usually the one behind the camera. So yes - now I have some really nice ones which makes me happy :)

Also - exciting news! My cousin Isabel and her dad are finally over their sicknesses and can see Laila without infecting her! I'm very excited for them to meet her :)

Laila

Fresh Air!

I got out of the house today which was amazing! First I went to destination maternity to return some bras I ordered online that were too big. Enzio sat with Laila in the car while I went inside - I didn't want to leave her at home incase she got hungry while I was gone and started freaking out. Then later in the day Laila and I went and visited my parents at their house. It was really nice seeing them and it was also really great just getting out of the house. In the past three weeks the only time that I have left the house was to bring Laila to the doctor. I can't wait until she is six weeks old and I can really take her wherever I want to and don't have to worry about having Enzio sit in the car with her while I run into a store and do a quick errand that Enzio isn't comfortable doing or something. That is, if this flu season calms down. I'm not about to bring her to the mall if the flu is still going around like crazy.

swings and drs

I made a last minute appointment with the pediatrician today and brought Laila in because I got all paranoid that she had thrush. Basically she has a white coating on her tongue and as far as I could tell it wasn't coming off when I rubbed at it... plus my nipples have been really irritated. Turns out the irritation is just normal (probably just them healing ever so slowly) and the white on her tongue does come off but you have to scrape at it and it doesn't come off completely - only partially. The doctor said it is milk that builds up on the tongue. She also told me the symptoms I should look for and said that if they occur to just call and she would write a script. So - I feel both relieved and a little silly... but I guess that is just part of motherhood. I just want to make sure she is as healthy as she can be.

In other news Laila is finally starting to enjoy her swing! Before she would just cry when you put her in it and would refuse to sit there for more than five minutes. But today we put her in it after she was already asleep and my god she has been sleeping like a rock. We actually had to take her out and change her diaper to wake her up because she had been sleeping for so long. We then put her in again after she was fed and she is passed out still. I would love to let her sleep in it overnight but there is no way I am going to do that because it can increase the risk of SIDS. Apparently a lot of parents let their babies sleep in the swings at night because they sleep better in them than in other places... and while I'm sure she would probably be fine ... I just can't bring myself to do it just incase. The whole SIDS thing freaks me out so much - I'm worried about it enough just having her sleep lying in her co-sleeper or basinet. Laila being hurt or dying is literally my worst fear in the entire world.

Like a Beast

Laila has been eating like a beast! Today (well, as of 23 minutes ago, yesterday) Laila ate 16 times - and not just for short periods of time - no no, for about 1/2 an hour on average. Normally Laila eats 11 times a day and for an average of 20 minutes - quite the difference! She was also been a bit fussy and had only one real 'awake' period. I think she may be having a growth spurt! At least I hope so, because otherwise this may just be the new way that she eats and that's a bit insane.

Anyway! I chose a birth announcement and ordered it only to get an e-mail from my mom saying she liked a different one better and to not include one of the pictures on the invite I did end up picking. Gah! Too late! Whatever. Yes, the one she chose is the one I originally liked the best, but Enzio didn't like it AND it was about 30 cents more expensive. Hm.. how do you make the 'cents' sign on the computer?

I can't wait until Laila is a bit older and stays awake for longer periods (during the DAY) and sleeps more at night ... and when I can actually start to interact with her more by playing with her with toys, etc. Right now when she is awake I feel like all I can do is hold her and talk to her and try and get her to look at things... usually all she wants to look at is me or Enzio ... though sometimes she does look at this black & white book I have. I mean, she won't look at it for more than 5 minutes, but still - it's something. But then she just gets bored with it or overstimulated or god knows what and she cries and I have to coo at her and lull her back to calmness/sleep. I want to lie on the floor and play with her!

Announcements and Explosions

Laila had a giant explosion of a poop today. She farted and it blew out of her diaper! So then I changed her and as I was changing her she pooped more and then peed and it went all the way up her back. So I just threw her in the bath. The entire thing was pretty hilarious actually. And I think Laila really likes being in the bath - she just doesn't like it when you have to start washing under her neck, back, etc.

In less disgusting news I am trying to put together a birth announcement but I can't seem to decide which one I want. I have $20 towards announcements on shutterfly. I have narrowed it down to a few... well mostly I just excluded two of the options lol When I've narrowed it down a tad more I will post the options and maybe I can get some advice!

Something that I have started to notice that Laila's grumpy awake time is between 11pm and 2am. It's funny because when I was pregnant with her that is when she was the most active in my belly as well. However, inside my belly she didn't scream and scream, and my husband didn't need to play pop music and dance around the living room just to calm her down.

bath time and midwives

My mom put me in touch with her friend from the zen monastery she goes to who used to be a midwife. We have been e-mailing back and forth and it has been really wonderful because she has been able to answer all of my questions. Plus she has been extremely nice about all of my questions and seems to genuinely enjoy talking about everything. She has put my mind at complete ease and I know if  something comes up that makes me anxious again I can just e-mail her. I have to say, motherhood has not been good for my anxiety!

In other news, yesterday Enzio and I gave Laila her first bath! Well, her first real bath - we had given her sponge baths before. Now that her umbilical cord has fallen off and everything's all healed we are allowed to bathe her for real. I was sort of expecting her to start screaming the second she hit the water, but she actually seemed to enjoy it! Well, until I started having to lift her head to clean her neck folds, etc... then she started crying! Hopefully she enjoys the bath even more next time.

How my life was saved by a co-sleeper

Laila slept so well last night in the co-sleeper! It has been a life saver! All I want/have to say, is that if you are a parent who has a newborn who only wants to sleep in your arms, invest in the baby delight snuggle nest!

Co-sleeping

Last night was so horrible that I became desperate around 6am and brought Laila to sleep in our bed with us because it was the only way to get her to sleep. I, of course, barely slept because I was so terrified something would happen. But she slept so well that I had Enzio go out and purchase a co-sleeper so that I can have her in our bed without worrying about rolling over on her or having her tangle in the covers. I wasn't sure it would work because Laila was only sleeping when we held her, but I read a review online that said their daughter was the same way and that this worked wonders. So far it has been worth every penny! Laila has slept in it no problem all day. Look, here's proof:

And don't worry - we don't keep her in the blanket at night. She is only wrapped like that during the day when we are watching her to make sure she is okay. At night we put her in one of those easy swaddler things. Anyway- let's just hope she sleeps like this all tonight. Please, PLEASE let her sleep tonight.

The Bassinet

Laila is refusing to sleep in her bassinet tonight. All yesterday during the day - and any point in time before then - she slept in it no problem. But tonight.. every time she falls asleep and I put her in she wakes up within 5 minutes!! Ugh. I'm getting desperate but I also can't bring myself to do the whole co-sleeping thing. She only wants to sleep pressed up against someone! I read online that other parents have had success with things like this and this. I am so desperate I almost want to drive to the store right now and get them both to see if they would work - but it would be a waste of money to get them and then have them not work - a waste of money that I really can't afford. So instead I am going to go scour craigslist for these items in hopes that someone has them and is trying to either get rid of them for cheap or (fingers crossed) for free. There are also two baby consignment stores around here ... maybe I will ask my cousin to do me a huge favor and look there for these items. Or I could call and see if they have them and then send someone to go pick them up for me - that might be a better idea. If worse comes to worse I may just invest in these two products and if they don't work return them - but first I'll just have to check the different stores' return policies to make sure I can do that.

Please let it be a growth spurt

Last night was .. tough, to put it nicely. We couldn't get Laila to go to sleep until after 2am, and she wasn't just awake, she was crying. Then she continued to wake up every hour after that to feed until 8am, at which point she slept until 10. Ugh. Talk about painful. She was doing more every-hour feedings today as well, on and off. My mom and a family friend Barbara came and visited today and made Enzio and me dinner- yum! While they were here Laila cried for about an hour and a half straight, only calming down for a minute or two at a time. Finally I fed her again and she went to sleep and has been asleep ever since (that was almost three hours ago). I don't know if she is just going through a growth spurt (fingers crossed) or if this is going to be her new thing. My mom and Barbara (who is a retired nurse) were telling me that it is totally normal for babies to cry like this. They said that she might be crying for a whole host of reasons; she might just need to expel excess energy or it might be her way of shutting out everything around her. They were also saying that it might be that she doesn't know how to fall asleep on her own yet. Something about how there is a stage between being awake and being asleep and a lot of babies have trouble with it and have to, say, cry themselves to sleep. Only problem is that Laila isn't going to sleep until I nurse her! Before yesterday I could rock her to sleep but when I was rocking her last night and today as she cried - nothing. She'd calm for a minute and look like she was getting ready to sleep and then she'd start crying again. So ... I'm really, really hoping that it is all just a short phase she is going through due to a growth spurt. I hate it when she cries and I can't calm her down - it makes me feel so awful... like I'm totally useless.

Drs & Visitors

Today Laila went to the Dr for a 'weigh-in' to make sure that she was still gaining weight nicely, and to just check in and make sure she is OK. Her belly button is nicely healed, and while she still has some jaundice, this is normal. The Dr said this can last for a little while. At her appointment last week she weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces (an ounce more than her birth weight) and today she weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces! So good job Laila! Packing on those ounces - all thanks to the fact that she has her Daddy's appetite. Today has been no exception to that either - she has been eating like crazy tonight! She has also been awake a lot today, so hopefully she will sleep tonight. She has been a bit fussy, but that might just be from all of the stuff going on today. She did sleep for most of the night last night... she was awake from 12:30-2 or 2:30 or so, but other than that she slept great, waking up every two or three hours to eat. The Dr said that her feeding may slow to every 3 or 4 hours at one month - definitely looking forward to that.
We had a very nice visit from my friend Kim and her daughter Ava (I lived with them for Ava's first year of life and helped take care of Ava). It has been almost a year since I last saw them, so that was really nice! Kim made Enzio and me a delicious lunch, and Ava (now almost 3 years old) decorated a page to put in Laila's baby scrapbook. It was a very nice visit! Now I am just waiting to hear back from my cousin Juliet about bringing over a lasagna that her mom made for us - yum!