I am not going to lie, I have been disappointed by breast feeding. First there was the nipple soreness and the complete paranoia that I had thrush or a clogged milk duct when in reality I was fine. Then there was the realization that wherever I go, baby goes, because pumping milk is a huge pain in the ass and I don't want to leave her with a bottle and go out anyway because I will become engorged and my milk supply will take a hit unless I pump- something I am not willing to do out in public. For some reason I never realized that breast feeding was a lifestyle choice until after i gave birth. But the most disappointing thing for me is that I don't feel this huge bonding sensation when my baby breast feeds. I was told it would make me feel so close to her, but instead I feel like her personal cow.
When I talk to my husband about this he reminds me that this is a choice, and as such I can stop if I want to. The truth is though, I don't feel like it is that much of a choice because at the end of the day breast milk is the best thing my baby can eat. Think of it like this: why would I give my child expensive TV dinners when I could give her a healthy organic home cooked meal for free?
My original goal was to breast feed for one year. My new goal is six months. If I get to that point and still want to breast feed I will, but otherwise, I won't. She will be old enough that she won't be needing as much to drink especially since she will start having solid foods at that point to fill her tummy. Wish me luck!
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