My days at work

The one good thing about pumping at work is that it has given me time to read again. My best friend Ella sent me all these books awhile back but I hadn't had a chance to read any of them. When I returned to work in Wednesday I started "Alice I Have Been" by Melanie Benjamin, a historical fiction about the person that Alice in Wonderland is based on. I am now almost finished with it! I have to force myself to put it down, it's just so good. My only concern is figuring out what to read next.

My favorite part of the day while I'm at work, however, is when my husband sends me pictures of Laila. Yesterday he sent me this adorable one:

Apparently, by the way, my new schedule of 10-6 was only for two days, and now I'm coming in whenever they need me. Friday I went in from 8:30-5:30 (I almost couldn't wake up!), and now Monday I'm working 9-3 (school closes early for Passover, and then it is closed on Tuesday), Wednesday I work 9-6, and then Thursday until the following Thursday I will be working 10-7. So not only do I not have a reliable schedule, I'm also working longer hours than what was agreed upon. I miss my daughter- I just want to be home with her! If I didn't need the health insurance I would quit right now.

My boss, by the way, tried to convince me yet again to bring Laila to our school. And once again I had to tell her it was too expensive. But it's more than that- with a 4-1 ratio in the baby room (meaning one teacher to every four babies) a lot of the time children are forced to just sit there and cry and cry, and teachers are often too busy or too frazzled to really do anything to help. I want my daughter in a warm, cozy, loving environment, and that just isn't what it is like at the school I work at ... In part because my boss and the company we work with are so set on being a school and are so cold and formal that a lot of the warmth gets thrown out the window along with accepting the title daycare (which technically our school is, but we are not supposed to think that, yet alone say it). My boss presents one world to the parents that just isn't the reality, and since I see that I don't want my daughter at the school. But when people ask I simply tell them I can't afford it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my coworkers, and they all do the best that thy an under the circumstances... And whenever they can they do provide a loving atmosphere for the kids.... It just isn't continuous, and I can't knowingly send my daughter into that. Plus I'm hoping to go to grad school in the fall full time (fingers crossed) which would mean quitting, which would mean having to find a new daycare for Laila if she went there.