Moving to Tumblr

Hi everyone! So I am moving this blog to Tumblr. I just prefer the feel of tumblr, and am also hoping that I start getting some actual comments on Tumblr (I've heard people have tried to leave comments on this blog and they just never showed up). SO - follow me to Tumblr!

Moving to Her Own Room

Tonight is Laila's first night sleeping in her own bedroom! Up until this point she has been sleeping with her crib pressed up against my side of the bed, so this is a big change for the both of us. I'm nervous. I have some reservations because sometimes she wakes up in the night and just needs her pacifier put back in her mouth, and at about 4am she usually needs to come into bed with us to stay asleep. Both of these things are going to be a lot more of a pain now. Also, in the mornings sometimes she will let me sleep for another hour or half hour after I give her a bottle by just playing in her crib ... I don't think she will do this though if I am not right there for her to see. However, I am also kind of excited. My husband and I will have our room to ourselves now for the first time in nine months! Not only that, but I have been told that moving her into her own room might help her and me both sleep better. On her part she might sleep better because she won't be disturbed by Enzio and I turned about in our sleep or getting up to pee or waking up in the morning. On my part I won't be nearly as alert to every single little sound because she won't be right next to me. So.. we'll see how it goes.
We decided to do this now for two main reasons: 1) it is cool enough now that she doesn't need the AC that is located in my bedroom and 2) my mom bought us a video monitor because she felt like it was time for Laila to move to her own room and when I said I was nervous about not seeing her while she was sleeping (and by that I mean not being able to check up on her without opening her door and disrupting her) my mom was kind enough to buy us a video monitor.

I currently have the monitor right next to me while I sit in the living room and am enjoying looking at it to see what she is doing. 

Break

For the past month I have pretty much been raising Laila on my own. It's not Enzio's fault, it is just that he has been really busy. He is going back to college to get his undergrad degree and he has classes five days a week. He gets up at 5am and gets ready and goes into the city for his classes. He has also been working three days a week bar tending - this past Saturday he worked a shift from 10am-1am with no breaks. Insane! He then had to get up and go back to work the next morning. Insane! When he has been home he has been doing homework. What this means for me is that I have been really the only one taking care of Laila. She goes to daycare on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and I use this time for homework and my own classes, so it isn't really a time to recoup and relax. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that Laila has been exceptionally clingy and needy lately. My theory is that it is sort of like a yo-yo - she is branching out with crawling etc and now she is back and needing me. What this means is that it is no longer enough for me to just be in the same room as her, or even to be on the floor with her - she has to be in my lap playing. If I pee she freaks out and screams and cries!

This just started to get a bit overwhelming and three nights ago I kind of had a meltdown and was crying... I called my mom and walked out of Laila's room and sat in my own room for about 15 minutes. She was, of course, freaking out. She was crying and screaming, which of course only made me feel worse. So my mom told me to take some deep breaths and I calmed down and my mom promised to come the next morning for a little while and help out. She had to teach a class that afternoon and couldn't watch her for longer than a couple of hours, but she came back afterwards and picked Laila up and brought her back to her place for the night. And the night after. So.. I have been without baby for two nights now! My mom is bringing her back this afternoon, but I still have a few hours baby free. It has been ... absolutely wonderful. It is exactly what I needed. I got to relax and spend some time with Enzio (who has quit his job and will be around more now) and I just feel relatively human again.

Yes, I miss Laila and have missed her. This is, after all, the longest we have ever been away from one another. I have been getting updates from my mom this entire time to see how she was doing, and I definitely felt a level of guilt about the entire situation ... but I needed a break. I am so lucky that my mom is happy to watch her. I know there are probably parents out there who will judge me for this, but I think the majority of parents will understand (I hope). I haven't really done anything particularly amazing in this time - I went to BJ's and ate at five guys, but other than that I have just been hanging out and playing silly facebook games. Well, yesterday I actually had to sub at work, so I wasn't even home so I didn't really have a change to go out and do anything I wouldn't have been able to otherwise, like see a movie. Today I am going to clean and get some homework done ... super exciting, I know. But it is SO HARD to get anything done at all with Laila around, so this is really my chance to do that.

Laila's Apple Picking Adventure

So the other weekend Laila, my cousins Isabel & Juliet (aka Aunt Isabel and Aunt Josie) and I all went apple picking! Laila had a blast! She is now obsessed with apples and freaks out when she sees them. This is probably due to the fact that I took a bite of a small one and then let her suck on it. She loved getting to gnaw on it.

Aunt Josie, me, and Laila at the orchard

Aunt Isabel and Laila 

Laila enjoying her apple

Laila reaching for an apple 

Separation Anxiety

So Laila has been more and more needy lately. At first I was thinking it was because her top two teeth are coming in, but they are mostly it now and she is still acting the same. A lot of the time it is not enough for me to be in the same room with her anymore, I have to be on the floor and she has to be in my lap. If I leave the room she cries. The only time this is not true is for a short period in the morning after she first wakes up when she is the happiest. I was doing some research and apparently it is separation anxiety. Which apparently can last until she's 24 months. Or, you know, until she's a teenager. Good God help me. It is so exhausting! Especially because now I am back in school (getting my masters in social work) and my husband is going back to school (getting his undergrad degree) as well as working, so we both have a lot of work to do... and my husband is gone more than I am and has more homework than I do (well, I have class once a week he has it five days a week, so his needs to be done sooner than mine) so I am the one doing the majority of the child-care right now. I have trouble getting what work I do have done because she is so needy! I don't know how I would handle the work load if I had more than two classes at the moment and was working more consistently.

Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone have a more concrete answer to when the worst of this might be over?  

In other, more exciting news, she is pulling herself up into the standing position now (she started about two weeks ago actually) and is so proud of herself because of it. She has also been eating more 'real' food, so to speak. That is, non-pureed food. She really enjoys getting to feed herself, which is wonderful. I am encouraging what little independence she has and feels comfortable with.

Back to school

So I am going back to school to get my MSW (masters in social work) and I started classes this past Thursday, and I had my orientation the day before. The best part of my day during orientation was when I got to raise my hand and say I had a kid ... and I have to admit that I was extremely excited to talk about her when I introduced myself in one of my classes. I want to show her off to anyone and everyone. It's funny how much I enjoy talking about her... it literally made my whole day better.

Teeth

Laila has her first teeth! Her bottom two front teeth are just starting to come in - they have broken through and now just need to finish coming in. They came within a day or two of each other - which made sleep, well, not very restful. Despite this, I am so excited! I am going to have to stop her from nibbling my chin now, which should be interesting... the other day she was pulling my hair really hard when I was trying to put her to bed and I told her 'no' in a firm voice and she gave me this look of complete confusion and then did it again, so again I told her no... but her face was so funny that I started laughing. I apparently can say no to other peoples' children, no problem, but not so with my own daughter. Her face was just so cute and funny that I couldn't help myself from laughing. I guess that is just something that I will have to learn how to do without laughing. I'm sure at some point it will get easy because I will actually be angry or annoyed with her... but as of right now it will take some work.

Treat Yourself to This

So it's been almost two months or so since I stopped breastfeeding and I decided that I wanted to get fitted or measured for some bras. In the past the most I ever did was have someone in a store measure me with a measuring tape and tell me my size ...  I did this at Victoria's Secret and then at Motherhood Maternity or whatever that place is called. I didn't trust Victoria's Secret because they told me I was a B cup which I knew there was no way in hell I was. ANYWAY - my cousin Isabel brought me to this store in Manhattan called Town Shop that was absolutely amazing. You go into a fitting room and they look at the way your current bra fits you and its size, and from there they go out and bring back bras and literally put them on you and make sure that they fit correctly. I went in thinking they would tell me my current bra was fitting me perfectly and was the right size but nope. I was completely wearing the wrong size (I had been wearing a 32DD and I am not in a 30E or DD depending - or a a 28E if I am going strapless). It's amazing how differently the bras fit - I'm so happy! I was never before able to wear a strapless bra, and now I can.
So, go treat yourself to a bra fitting to make sure you are in the right size. I think I remember hearing a statistic that was something like 70% of women are in the wrong bra size. So even if you think you are wearing the right size, if you haven't been fit for bras go and do it, because I thought I was in the right size and I wasn't.

7 Month Checkup

The other day Laila had her 7 month checkup! I can't believe how old she is getting. I feel like time has been going so much faster since I stopped breastfeeding. Probably because I am less stressed... but I think that it also helps that Laila is now able to really play on her own. I can put her on her little rug (we bought one for the living room because Enzio didn't want her sucking on the floor after we mopped it, etc) and she will play with her box of toys for about two hours happily (if she is in a good mood that is). It's amazing!
ANYWAY - so Laila is apparently 2'2.4" (26.4 inches) long (interesting, since she was longer than that last month, but she wiggles around a lot and her legs were out to the side when she was measured, so it isn't particularly exact). In other words - I don't know how long she is, but that's fine. She is also 16.15 pounds - putting her in the 47th percentile!!! That's almost average! I'm very excited about this since she had been in the 9th percentile not all that long ago. As for her head circumference - it is 17 inches (putting her in the 55th percentile).
The only issue is that her labia adhesion is apparently a bit worse now than it is before. Now I have to put hydrocortisone cream on the area twice a day, applying with some pressure. We are going to try the over the counter stuff before going up to something stronger. I am happy to say that it already seems to be working a little bit... so hopefully we will never have to use more powerful stuff.

Another First

The day before yesterday we brought Laila to a playground and put her on a swing for the first time! She had a blast  - she happily sat in the swing for a good half an hour at least ... she would have kept sitting there but we felt it was time to leave. She was so cute - I can't wait to go again!

6 Month Drs Visit

The other day Laila went in for her 6th month check-up. All is well! She is in the 55% for height (I forget her exact height .. a little over 27 inches) and she is 15.10 ounces (in the 30th percent). She got an oral vaccine and a shot... and she was not happy about it! Infact, she was not happy with the visit at all. In the past she always enjoyed herself but she has a strong sense of stranger danger now and cried when the doctor touched her, and after that she cried if the doctor even looked at her for too long! Oh well...
Two things to note: 1) Laila is popping her jaw out of the socket.. the doctor said the area wasn't swollen though, so she thinks it is just something Laila has realized she can do and is no insisting on doing it. All. The. Time. 2) The labia adhesion has not gotten any better. It hasn't gotten worse either though, so that's good. The doctor is hesitant about using a hormone cream (for good reason) so we are just going to wait a while longer in hopes that it gets better. Fingers crossed!

Two Mom-Friendly Products: Goody Ouchless Ribbon Elastics & Olay Fresh Effects BB Cream

A while back a good friend of mine (Ella!) introduced me to the website Influenster.com, and I am in love with it! Basically you can see what other people are saying about and review different products. Once in a while they might even send you something to try and review in the mail! Anyway, a week or two ago I received what is called a Vox Box in the mail with a few things to try, and I just want to talk a little bit about my two favorite that are so mom-friendly!
1) Olay's Fresh Effects BB Cream which has 6 different skin-care benefits in just one step. It hydrates for 24 hours, protects your face from the sun with SPF 15, evens skin tone, instantly refreshes, smooths and brightens skin!  I have to say, I've been searching for a BB Cream for months and this is the third one that I've tried. The others, despite good reviews that I read, made me break out like crazy. Needless to say, I was both excited and wary about trying this new one. Thankfully, I absolutely love it! I love that it has SPF 15, and that it has just the right amount of tinted coverage. It doesn't make my skin look weird like when you put on too much foundation, but it does cover up minor imperfections (like dark circles and redness) while making my skin glow. Like I said, it's mom-friendly. It is so hard to find time to yourself when you are a mom - especially a new mom! So often I go to work without any makeup on because I just couldn't find the time and/or energy to put any on. Not anymore (god that sounded cheesy)- Olay's Fresh Effects BB Cream goes on so quickly that now I always have time and energy. Maybe I'm not putting on full makeup, but I'm covering up the imperfections I feel self-conscious about and that makes me feel wonderful - no more walking into the bathroom half way through the day and seeing my reflection and just .. ugh. I know you know exactly what I'm talking about. You can buy this product on their website (see previous link) or on amazon.com.
2) Goody Hair Ouchless Ribbon Elastics are the second product that I love. I've tried a few "high-end" versions of the same thing, and they always stretched out so much that they were unusable by the third or fourth use. While the Goody ones also stretch out a bit, I've been able to use them again and again no problem! How are these mom-friendly? Well - my daughter is at the age where she is always wanting to pull my hair, so I'm always wearing my hair up when I'm around her.. but when I go to work or out to run errands I would love to wear my hair down.. only problem? Normal hair ties leave those crimps in your hair. What I love about Goody's Ouchless Ribbon Elastics is that I can wear my hair up around my daughter and then go out and take it down without worrying about it having crimps!

No More Breastfeeding

A few weeks ago now I made the decision to stop breastfeeding. I had been feeling like I wanted to stop for a little while because I was having a lot of trouble producing enough milk for my daughter (1/4 an ounce from one side, 1/2 - 1 ounce on the other in a pumping session), pumping at work was stressful for a number of reasons, and in a lot of ways it felt more like a chore than something I truly enjoyed. I did, however, enjoy the ease of feeding my daughter at night and of course the health benefits for my daughter. What pushed me over the edge was that I (once again) forgot an important piece of my breast pump and had to leave work to go and get it. It was just the last straw. Pumping was too much of a pain in the ass, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

Now, I know there are mother's out there who will be appalled at my doing and saying all of this, and to you I say: to each their own. I breastfed my daughter for five and a half months, and I'm proud of that! My daughter is happy and healthy, and I am happy and healthy, and that's all that should matter.

Despite my not really wanting to breastfeed anymore (and in a lot of ways my inability to breastfeed) I was still a little heart broken when I stopped. I felt guilt and sadness! I found myself missing when I breastfed her. Only once has she tried to breastfeed since I stopped (when she was starving and I was warming up a bottle) and it broke my heart that I couldn't - I almost cried. But, other than that ... I feel so happy and free! FREE! I can go out for hours at a time and not have to worry about pumping or engorgement or my milk supply. It's wonderful! I've gotten over the initial sadness, and I am so happy to no longer be breastfeeding.

My advice to moms out there who are thinking of weaning their babies, here is my advice to you:

1) Make sure you are truly ready, and even if you are, be prepared to feel a little sad. If you are on the fence, just wait until you have finally found that moment that pushes you over onto one side or the other. Don't stop if you are unsure! Breastfeed for as long as it makes you happy to do so, and then walk away from it. A happy mom using formula is better than an unhappy mom who is breastfeeding. 

2) Read up on how to stop breastfeeding. Don't go cold turkey, ease into it. The more you produce the more slowly you should wean off breastfeeding. And prepare for discomfort and even pain. Get some advil or tylenol and some lettuce leaves ready. Don't wean your baby off when you are about to go on a trip or some other big event that might throw your baby for an even bigger loop than they might already be going through.

3) Celebrate! Once you have stopped do something you couldn't while you were breastfeeding to make you feel good about the change even when you might be a little sad. Perhaps go to a bar with some friends, or see a movie and go to dinner. Enjoy the freedom of having your body to yourself for the first time since you became pregnant.

Laila Goes Swimming

Today we went to a pool party/engagement party for the fourth of July. It was a lot of fun, though we were only there for a little while because Enzio and I are both fighting off colds and Laila was a bit overwhelmed and was getting grumpy. However, while we were there we brought Laila swimming for the first time ever! At first she seemed a bit shocked and confused, but then she started splashing around and really enjoyed herself! I can't wait to bring her swimming again!

 

Father's Day

I realize this is a bit late, but I just wanted to show off the father's day cards that I made for my husband and dad. I feel kind of proud of myself. I kind of mastered infant art while I was 'teaching' in the infant room at my school, but it's somehow different when I make the art with my daughter for someone I love.
For my dad I made my daughter's handprint into a fish since my maiden name is a type of fish, and because my dad simply cannot wait until Laila is old enough to go fishing.

For my husband I xeroxed a copy of my hand over my daughter's hand.

Rolling Back to Front

Today Laila rolled over from her back to her front for the first time ever! And then she did it again, and again, and again. Of course, by the time I finally caught it on tape she was starting to get hungry and grumpy, but oh well! I'm so proud and excited!

Growth Spurt, Labia Adhesion, & Fever

Monday (the 10th) Laila had her 5 month doctors check-up (she goes every month). She got a shot, and was checked over in general. Laila has had a big growth spurt this past month! She gained two pounds and grew two inches! She weighs 14 pounds and 5 ounces. That puts her in the twenty-fourth percentile for the first time ever! Considering that she was in the ninth percentile two months ago, this is very impressive and I am very happy. She is also 2 feet, 3 inches long (27 inches) putting her in the ninety-fifth percentile. I have no idea how she is so tall! I am 5'2" and my husband is about 5'9". Maybe my father's tall genes skipped a generation (he is 6'1"). Meanwhile, her head is 16.7 inches, putting her head in the sixty-ninth percentile. That's my big ass baby right there! She is so cute - getting plumper and plumper with her little thunder thighs.

And now for the not so good news - Laila seems to have a labial adhesion. The doctor told me to bathe her everyday and after her bath to put some aquaphor where they are sticking together to hopefully try and unstick them.... if that doesn't work the next step is to try an estrogen cream. Hopefully this will work though! I was doing some research on it and it said that while it can go away, it may continue to come back until she hits puberty. I really hope that it goes away quickly and never comes back. Well, I guess that is obvious enough. I just hate that anything is wrong. I hate that it could continue to plague her. At this point the doctor said it isn't really that big a deal, and that it is more common than one might think, so I am just trying to stay positive and not let my crazy mama brain work itself up.

In others news, Laila is sick. Last night she barely slept at all she had trouble falling asleep and then she slept for three hours, waking at 1:30. She woke again at 3:20 and was awake until 4:45. She finally fell back asleep only to wake up at 6:50, and she was up for the rest of the morning at that point. Normally when Laila wakes up in the morning for good she is happy and smiling and doesn't cry because, well, she is wide awake and has nothing to complain about. Often I wake up to her smacking her lips and playing in her crib. This morning, however, she woke up crying and screaming and was completely inconsolable. She wasn't hungry, she was just sad. She didn't feel particularly warm to the touch, but I asked Enzio to take her temperature anyway. She had a fever of 101! I think she may just be having a reaction to her shot... but who knows. Maybe it is that and the teething, I'm not sure. Apparently she was fine during the day while I was at work (my husband and Mom were both looking after her), but this evening when I got home she was acting strangely again. I took her temperature but she was fine in those terms. She barely ate her sweet potatoes, and she got fussy during bath time! After her bath I took her temperature again and once again she had a fever. Poor little thing. So tomorrow I am staying home with her to (hopefully) nurse her back to health.

Painting

The day before yesterday Laila and I painted together for the first time! It was actually a lot of fun - and messy! By the end of it I just put Laila in a bath to clean her up - which she also loved because her new favorite activity is splashing in the bath. Afterwards I was covered in paint and soaking wet, but it was a lot of fun and very worth it! At first Laila was sort of shocked and didn't quite know what was happening, but then she started squishing the paint between her fingers and spreading it around on the paper and she really seemed to enjoy it. I can't wait to do it again!

Laila painting

Laila painting

The finished product

Post-painting clean-up bath with Mr. Crab

               

Eating Solids

Laila enjoying her sweet potatoes

So Laila is now eating solid food! She hates the rice cereal, and cries whenever I've tried to give it to her... but I've found two foods that she does like (so far) - pears and sweet potatoes! She likes the sweet potatoes best, and eats them more than she did the pears. When I first started feeding her the solid foods at just about 5 months (after that first try when she was 4 months where she cried I waited a few weeks before trying again) she didn't actually swallow anything. I would just put some of the food in her mouth and she'd hold it there and then spit it out after a bit... after two nights though she started swallowing most of it, and now she eats about 95% of what I put in her mouth. Right now she doesn't eat a lot at once (maybe 1/3 of one of the very small containers), but that's okay! Right now I'm more focused on having her get used to eating solids while she still gets the majority of her food from breast milk and formula.
Anyway - it has been exciting! I am having a lot of fun with it - probably more fun than her, though she definitely likes it. When I feed her she seems to concentrate completely on the funny taste in her mouth, she gets so serious! Unless I play a funny game with her while she eats, that is.

Pacifier

This morning, after Laila's pacifier fell out of her mouth, she grabbed ahold of it and tried with all her might to get it back into her mouth. The only problem, her aim was a bit off. Every time she put it against her head she opened her mouth in hopes that it would go in. Good job Laila, good job.

My First Mother's Day

This past Sunday was my first Mother's Day as a mom! Last year I was pregnant, and my dad bought me some flowers, but this was my first official Mother's Day. I made myself a mother's day card, using Laila's footprints as a heart - nothing crazy but just a little cute card to put in Laila's baby book. Enzio thinks it is funny that I made myself a card, but whatever, I like it! And she kind of made it for me, in that they are her footprints! lol

Enzio took the morning off from work to spend some time with me, and we went to the mall and I bought myself a pair of jeans lol ... Enzio had bought me a Mother's Day present but not until the day before Mother's Day, so it didn't come until yesterday night! He got an infant care troubleshooting flowchart, a notebook to keep all my passwords in, and a necklace. The necklace is obviously my favorite one - it is one of those necklaces that has a meaning - the one I got is "quiet courage". I love it!

So, I realize it is a few days late, but happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mothers out there!

Rice Cereal

So I tried giving Laila rice cereal for the first time today! My husband got the camera ready, we were both so excited, and then ... she cried! I mean, she really cried. So, that didn't work out. I had fed her some breast milk not that long before, and she was a bit tired, so we were thinking that perhaps that was why she wasn't into it. So, after her nap we thought we would try again. Nope. She did immediately fall back to sleep again, so perhaps she was just tired ... but perhaps being so upset about getting fed the cereal is what made her tired. Since there is no way to know, I'm going to take it as a sign that Laila just isn't ready for rice cereal yet.
The other reason she might not be that into it is that she is still a bit sick. She slept until 10am and then woke up grumpy, which isn't her normal way at all. It is not 2:40 and she is on her third nap of the day (though the first one was only about 20 minutes long)... I was thinking that maybe it was because we are now starting to ween her off of being swaddled, but she is still stuffed up and has a little cough, so I'm thinking that she might just be feeling crappy and is not wanting to deal with anything new. I am going to wait until she is all cleared up and sleeping well to try again, and hopefully she will actually enjoy it then!

Swaddling & Solid Food

Today was Laila's 4 month Drs appointment. She goes every month, which isn't the norm, but I actually prefer it. Anyway, she got another shot and an oral vaccine which she hated. The nurse was surprised, because it's sweet and apparently a lot of babies like it, but not Laila. She weighs 12.13 pounds, is 25 inches long, and her head circumference is 16 inches. Her weight went from being in the 9th percentile last time, to being back in about the 15th percentile, as it had been before. So that is very good.

Two bits of big news from the doctor today. One, it's time to stop swaddling Laila. Awesome. This is going to be a ton of fun. Two, we can start feeding Laila solid food! Well, try at least. She said that if she gags or pushes it all out with her tongue or something than she just isn't ready and to try again a different time. That is very exciting! I can't wait!

My last entry was about Laila being sick... well, her fever didn't last long, it was gone by the next day, but she is still very congested and is now getting a little cough. Poor little thing. I honestly don't know who it is harder on, her or me. I hate listening to her all stuffed up and coughing. I just want her to get over it, and fast.

First Fever

Laila has her first fever! I last took it an hour ago and it was 101.4! I called the Dr and he said to give her baby tylenol - which of course I don't have! I only have ibuprofen, which apparently you can't give to babies that are younger than 6 months. Right now Enzio is heading home from work, and he is going to get some baby tylenol on his way.

Laila is slightly grumpy, but mostly she is just tired. She has been sleeping a lot more than usual, and sleeping deeply. I am going to call her doctor tomorrow (since the Dr I talked to before was just the on call Dr, not her own) and see if I should bring her in for a checkup or if she is fine staying home.

Ugh. I just hope she feels better soon... poor little thing. I'm not sure exactly where she got the fever - maybe it is something I brought home from work? I have been feeling like I am fighting something off for the past couple of days, so maybe she caught what I am fighting off?

Having Trouble Producing

I am having a lot of trouble producing enough, or even a little, milk. I usually get about one ounce per breast per pumping session, and if I work a full day I pump anywhere from 2-3 times a day, and then breastfeed when I am with Laila. Laila, on the other hand, drinks 8 ounce bottles three times a day, and then about a 5 ounce bottle while she is at daycare. So, as you can see, she's mostly drinking formula when we are apart. At night now she is starting to wake up every couple of hours to eat as well, whereas before she would go for seven hours between feedings at night, no problem. I'm thinking that perhaps she just isn't getting enough milk when she breastfeeds to keep her full for very long. It's such a bummer. I would quit right here and now except that my mom got me a breast pump for my birthday earlier this month that was very expensive, and I don't want to have it go to waste. I mean, I've been using it for less than a month! So I will keep doing what I am doing, and maybe at night I will supplement my breast milk with a bottle. I think the problem is that I don't pump enough when I am away from her, but it's hard enough pumping every three hours at work with my boss, I can't imagine what she would do if I told her I have to pump every two hours - especially since I told her that I won't be staying past August because I got into grad school for the Fall. And if I did pump every two hours, it would be really hard to get my 30 hours a week that I need for my insurance because they make me clock out when I am pumping. Ugh.

Anyway. Things have been crazy lately - we are moving on Saturday! I am very excited to move though - Laila will have her own room (though she won't really use it until she is more comfortable in her crib and we transition her to her own room), we will have a backyard to play in, and we will be two blocks away from a playground! So that will be really nice, especially now that the weather is getting nice.

36 Little Hacks That Will Make Parenting So Much Easier

This is a page of 36 ingenious ideas / tips to help make parenting just a tiny bit easier. It's amazing.

Laila's First Day

Laila is getting better and better at sleeping in her crib. The night before last she stayed in her crib for the entire night! She didn't spend the entire night in her crib last night, but she did spend most of it there. This is all very exciting! 

Other news: we found an apartment. It's on the second floor of a house, two bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, a pantry, a living room, and an attic. Plus we have a back yard! We are also within walking distance from a playground. Amazing! The only downside is that there is no laundry machine or dishwasher in the apartment... well, that, and the apartment is right next to where I work ... half an hour form Laila's daycare (which is next to where we live now), which means that on days when she goes to daycare and Enzio also has work, I will have a lot of annoying driving to do.

Anyway, onto the real bit of news - today was Laila's first day at daycare! It was ... very stressful for me. She apparently did pretty well - she took three half hour naps and drank four bottles (two 4 ounce ones, a five ounce one, and an eight ounce one). I, however, cried. A fair amount. I held myself together pretty well until I went to pump at work and found the nipples to Laila's bottles! So I had to leave work and bring them to her at daycare. When I found them I totally broke down. When I returned to work after my boss asked how things went and I started to cry again. I just had this huge knot in my stomach all day, and all I wanted to do was leave work and pick up Laila from daycare. It was a tough, miserable day. I know that eventually I will get used to it, I just wish that was now. I hate leaving her. I was kind of hoping to quit once Enzio's health insurance kicked in at his job, but we found out today that he doesn't get health insurance because his position isn't high enough - only managers and higher get insurance apparently. What a load of bullshit. Enzio is going to finish working on getting his personal training certification and then hopefully he will get a job doing that that also offers benefits. 

Oh, right, I also got into NYU for grad school! :D 

Doctors Visit - 3 Months

Today Laila had her three month old doctors appointment. Sadly, I had work, as did my husband, so my mom (Laila's Nana) brought her for me. She is healthy and happy and has all of her shots. She is in the 54th percentile for height (24 inches long) and the 9th percentile for weight (11.5 pounds). I'd be a little freaked out about the low percentile on the weight if 1) the doctor hadn't said she was fine and 2) I hadn't been in the 10th percentile my entire childhood. She's just a petite little thing.

My mom asked the pediatrician about upping my milk supply and she said that the best thing to do is to drink a lot of fluids - like 7 8oz glasses... or about 56 ounces. I'm probably drinking about 35 ounces a day now, so I definitely need to step up my fluid intake! The dr also said to make sure I'm getting enough calories (as someone who has never paid any mind to calories, I'm not sure if I'm doing this or not), and that if I wanted I could get some supplements at a health food store that may or may not help. So I am going to try really hard to drink more water and consider going to a health food store for the supplements when I have some extra money to spend.

The crib sleeping thing, by the way, is not going great. She has been sleeping about 3 hours a night in the crib and then waking up. After she wakes up I just put her in the co-sleeper and after a tiny bit she goes back to sleep, but then sleeps fitfully for the rest of the night. It's painful. Especially since I've been doing baby duty all alone at night because Enzio has gone back to work and I feel bad asking him to get up. Which isn't necessarily fair to me either... but whatever. Tomorrow I don't have to be at work until 12, and at first Enzio said he was going to go to the gym but then he saw how upset I was that he wasn't going to watch Laila when she woke up so I could sleep in and so now he's not going to go to the gym. And I, of course, feel guilty. But I also really, really need to sleep. He said he would do Laila duty tonight ... sort of. If she is needing help getting to sleep he said he would take over, but as the crib is next to my side of the bed (where he refuses to sleep) that makes it kind of difficult, meaning I will be on Laila duty again unless she wakes up for real and needs to be rocked back to sleep (instead of me sitting there repeatedly putting her pacifier back into her mouth).

Wish us luck for tonight. She is probably going to wake up really soon because she last ate at about 6:30 or 7, and has been asleep since 7:30. In her crib. Meaning I have half an hour until she probably wakes up again. Ugh.

Last Night

Yesterday Enzio and I rearranged our bedroom so that Laila's crib is next to my side of the bed. It was suggested to me that I do this in an effort to get Laila to sleep in her crib instead of her co-sleeper. Well, she slept for about three hours in her crib last night, and then at about 1am she woke up. I put the pacifier back in her mouth a few times, and I got her to sleep for another hour and a half. But by 2:30 I was so tired of having to continually put the pacifier back in her mouth that I just put her back in her co-sleeper, hoping that she would go to sleep. She didn't. I had to continue the pacifier thing all night, until 6:30am when I fed her for the second time and she finally fell asleep. Sadly, this did me little to no good because I had to wake up at 7:30. Ugh. But I can't give up - she slept for three hours in the crib and I guess I should consider that a small victory.

Bottle to Boob

It seems that Laila is starting to prefer getting her milk from bottles instead of my breast. Yesterday she flat out refused my breast a few times, and today she fusses half way through her feeding. I switched her to the other side when she wouldn't latch back on, but she only lasted on the other side for a little while before she started fussing again. It's really starting to upset me. I only want to have to pump while I'm at work, but I'm starting to think that I may not have a choice. Just as I'm starting to really enjoy breastfeeding, Laila is starting to dislike it. This really sucks.

New Pump + Breastfeeding

Tomorrow is my 24th birthday, and I spent this weekend at my mom and dad's house. For my birthday, my mom got me a new breast pump, because the one I had before just wasn't doing the trick. I had the medela swing breast pump, which is a single pump (meaning I could only pump one breast at a time), and with it I was only pumping 6-8 ounces per day at work. Plus, since I had to pump one breast at a time it was taking for forever, and my breaks at work were for about 45 minutes and I was super stressed about taking so much time pumping. SO, my mother bought me the medela pump in style advanced - a double pump that I read was one of the best. It is supposed to increase your milk supply. I've used it once over the weekend when Laila refused to breastfeed (something I will get back to) and it worked wonderfully! My left breast usually only produces one ounce at a time, but I got two ounces! A good start, I do believe.

But back to Laila refusing my breast. Yesterday my mom and I went and got our hair cut (it was extremely overdue) and went to buy some things at babies r us. Laila got cranky at both the hair salon and at the store, and I tried feeding her both times but she refused. When we got back to my mom and dad's house I also tried feeding her, but again she refused. It had been like 5 hours since she had last eaten, so my husband decided to try giving her a bottle - and she took it! So upsetting! That's another thing - since I've gone back to work breastfeeding has started to grow on me. I like the bonding time after spending so much time apart during the day.

Passover

Last night my family got together and celebrated Passover - both Laila and my husband's first Passover ever. I bought this adorable white dress from baby gap for just the occasion, and I myself managed to fit into a pair of my old dress pants. While there, Laila met her Aunt Elizabeth and her daughters Rachel and Rebekah for the first time, along with Aunt Elizabeth's boyfriend Tom. There was some drunken singing, and at one point my dad played tug-of-war with my cousins' dog ... with the toy in his own mouth! So, overall, it was a lot of fun. It's actually hard to tell when my family members are drunk because they are all so weird to begin with. My Grandpa was wearing a jacket with a hoodie all evening that caused my father to refer to him as MC Narcotics (he is a psychiatrist specializing is addiction to narcotics), causing his wife to call herself my Grandpa's bitch. Yea, like I said, we're a weird group of people. But isn't that the best? Better weird than normal, cold, and boring.

Passover is one of my favorite holidays. I'm more of a secular Jew, I have my beliefs but they don't necessarily align with Judaism and I definitely don't celebrate the sabbath or go to temple (unless you count what I do at work, but that's the children's service and it's part of my job)... despite this I still love Passover and the familiarity it brings. It's sort of like Thanksgiving, but the food is different and there's the comfort of the familiar reading of the Haggadah. Plus, I like celebrating freedom, especially when the history of the Jewish people is filled with stories of slavery and genocide.

ANYWAY! There are, of course, a ton of pictures. My step-grandmother Annie took a bunch of pictures that I can't wait to see, and I took some pictures myself. Here are some of my favorites:

Laila looking like she just realized something amazing

Laila meeting her cousin Rachel

Laila in Rebekah's lap while Aunt Elizabeth and Rachel look on

Aunt Elizabeth holding Laila while Rachel touches her head 

Laila and Enzio (Dad) wearing Yarmulkes

My husband holding Laila at the table, reading the Haggadah, and me

Just by luck I caught his picture of Laila laughing!  It was the first time  I heard a recognizable giggle from her. My husband says it is not the first time she laughed, but I'm counting it as the first time anyway since it is the first time I heard it!

And my father, playing tug-of-war with the dog

Vote Laila!

So I vaguely remember entering Laila into this photo contest ... anyway! I got an e-mail about it today ... so, VOTE FOR LAILA! She has a couple entries - vote for all of them :)

photo 1
photo 2
photo 3
photo 4

No work for the sick one

The assistant director at my school never called me back last night so I decided to just suck it up and go to work today because I don't want my boss to fire me... Well, the assistant director just called as I was waking up to go to work and asked me if I thought I was contagious. In all honesty I probably am, and I told her that, and she said not to come in. So, I don't have to kill myself trying to work today so my boss doesn't fire me because I got a free pass from the assistant director, and if my boss says anything I can just tell her I was told not to come in. Yay!
Now if only Laila would go to sleep. She has been keeping me up since her last feeding at 5:30. She hasn't been awake, just on the verge of waking up the entire time so I have to keep putting the pacifier back in her mouth, etc. I'm so tired. I'm feeding her right now, but if after she doesn't sleep I'm making my husband take care of her.

Sick

Three days back at work and I've already gotten sick. I was planning on calling out of work tomorrow because I feel so awful, but the assistant director hasn't called me back and I'm too scared to call my boss because I just know she is going to be so angry with me. So, instead, I'm just going to load up on meds (those that are safe while breastfeeding, that is) and suck it up and go in. Thankfully tomorrow is a short day - school closes at 3, and then it is closed the next day as well for Passover. I also have a dentists appointment tomorrow after work at 4 because one of my fillings fell out, but I'm not sure if they will let me come in if I am sick. I am going to call them tomorrow morning and ask if it is okay for me to still come in.

Anyway - yesterday was an exciting day. I woke up with a sore throat, but wasn't feeling that sick yet. We had a few guests over - LE, her husband Dan, and Alexsei (LE and Alexei are Enzio's friends from elementary school) and they got to meet Laila for the first time. LE was so sweet with her , while Alexsei seemed scared of hurting her so avoided picking her up. I've noticed this among a few men, it's kind of funny actually. Enzio's dad and my Grandpa are the same exact way. Anyway, it was very nice seeing them. Enzio and Alexsei went out that night with Enzio's brother in Brooklyn, and Laila and I went to my parent's house for the night. It was nice until I woke up the next morning (today) feeling like crap! I couldn't get out of bed until about noon (thankfully my mom and dad watched Laila for me) and when I got home I took a nap and have been in bed ever since.

Being sick with a baby sucks. A lot. And here's why - not only do you feel like crap, but you are also terrified of getting your baby sick. No kissing their little faces, having to avoid facing them as much as possible so you don't breathe on them when they are close to you, etc. etc. And on top of it all you can't even get a good nights sleep.

My days at work

The one good thing about pumping at work is that it has given me time to read again. My best friend Ella sent me all these books awhile back but I hadn't had a chance to read any of them. When I returned to work in Wednesday I started "Alice I Have Been" by Melanie Benjamin, a historical fiction about the person that Alice in Wonderland is based on. I am now almost finished with it! I have to force myself to put it down, it's just so good. My only concern is figuring out what to read next.

My favorite part of the day while I'm at work, however, is when my husband sends me pictures of Laila. Yesterday he sent me this adorable one:

Apparently, by the way, my new schedule of 10-6 was only for two days, and now I'm coming in whenever they need me. Friday I went in from 8:30-5:30 (I almost couldn't wake up!), and now Monday I'm working 9-3 (school closes early for Passover, and then it is closed on Tuesday), Wednesday I work 9-6, and then Thursday until the following Thursday I will be working 10-7. So not only do I not have a reliable schedule, I'm also working longer hours than what was agreed upon. I miss my daughter- I just want to be home with her! If I didn't need the health insurance I would quit right now.

My boss, by the way, tried to convince me yet again to bring Laila to our school. And once again I had to tell her it was too expensive. But it's more than that- with a 4-1 ratio in the baby room (meaning one teacher to every four babies) a lot of the time children are forced to just sit there and cry and cry, and teachers are often too busy or too frazzled to really do anything to help. I want my daughter in a warm, cozy, loving environment, and that just isn't what it is like at the school I work at ... In part because my boss and the company we work with are so set on being a school and are so cold and formal that a lot of the warmth gets thrown out the window along with accepting the title daycare (which technically our school is, but we are not supposed to think that, yet alone say it). My boss presents one world to the parents that just isn't the reality, and since I see that I don't want my daughter at the school. But when people ask I simply tell them I can't afford it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my coworkers, and they all do the best that thy an under the circumstances... And whenever they can they do provide a loving atmosphere for the kids.... It just isn't continuous, and I can't knowingly send my daughter into that. Plus I'm hoping to go to grad school in the fall full time (fingers crossed) which would mean quitting, which would mean having to find a new daycare for Laila if she went there.

Daycare

I meant to talk about this but guess I forgot - we found a great little daycare for Laila. My mom will watch her two days a week, and the other three will be spent at this place. It's small - it's run in this woman's home - but it's fully licensed. It's super homey and sweet, and hopefully Laila will like it there and they will hopefully like her as well. She'll start mid-April when my husband goes back to work. Only issue is that they are only open until 6, which causes problems at work (see previous entry), but oh well. We really lucked out finding such a great place last minute - the only reason they have an opening is because one of the babies is moving to Utah. So.. yay for that!

Back to Work

My maternity leave has officially ended - I returned to work yesterday. It's going okay. To be honest, it's hard taking care of other people's children when all I really want to do is be home with my own. And it doesn't help that I'm pretty sure my boss wants to fire me. Before I went back to work I told my boss that I could work either in the morning or in the evenings, which at the time was true. But then I found this great daycare for Laila and they are only open until 6, which means that I will have to leave work at 5 so that I can pick her up in time (I currently work until 6pm). This morning when I got to work she had me come into her office and told me that she didn't think that she would be able to "make it work" but that she would "try" but I HAD told her I would be able to work evenings and now that I won't be able to work between 5 and 7 three days a week she just doesn't think she can find a place for me. Then one of my coworkers told me they saw her writing an e-mail to someone about me (all they saw was that she was writing to someone about an employee who just got back from maternity leave). Ugh. I can't help but feel like she is writing someone to see if she can let me go without any legal repercussions (which I honestly don't know the answer to).

I've also only been pumping twice while at work - and I try to pump the second time during my lunch break in the afternoon so that I am not taking more time away from the classroom than I need to... today I got back from break 15 minutes later than when my break actually ends (which should be fine since I was using the time to pump, I wasn't just fussing about doing nothing) and when I got back to my classroom my boss was there and said something snappy about how I need to tell people when I would be back to the room. But I don't know when I will be back! It can take anywhere from 25 minutes to an hour! I am trying to relax while I pump so I can get as much milk for my daughter as possible, and it's hard when all I'm thinking about is my boss being pissed off at me for taking the time (even though she would never say it directly, let's just say she's terrible at hiding her true feelings). ... and I don't want to take as much time as I could because I don't want to get her pissed off at me. But maybe I should. Maybe I should just relax and do what I need to do and if she fires me, well, at least I'll be able to stay at home with my daughter.

Talking about pumping - I can't even pump enough to feed my daughter while I'm away, so we are having to supplement with formula. I produce enough to feed her straight from the breast, but apparently it isn't coming out the same when I pump which is really disappointing. Maybe I should pump more often but I'm scared my boss would have a fit.

:(

Date!

My mom watched Laila this afternoon and my husband and I went on a little date. Nothing crazy, but nice and relaxing. We went to Panera Bread and then we went to the movies. We saw "Identity Theft" which was pretty funny. It was the first movie I've seen since before Laila was born - I saw Lincoln back in November and was SO uncomfortable sitting in the movie theater and I had to pee so bad because Laila was pressing on my bladder. Anyway - the movie was free because I had these movie tickets that I got from my bosses back in December for the holidays, so that was nice. Really, the entire thing was nice. It was weird being without Laila, but it felt a bit like old times with my husband, which was refreshing and relaxing. 

Not going to lie though - I was a bit nervous about leaving Laila, but I trust my mother and the movie distracted me. Originally we were going to leave Laila with her and my dad for the night and go stay at a hotel for some quality alone time, but then Enzio got worried about leaving Laila overnight so we cancelled those plans. It was actually pretty sweet, so I wasn't upset at all. Maybe in another month or so! 

On the way back we got stuck in a big snow storm and it took us a long time to get home. Thank God for our snow tires! At one point Enzio got out to help push someone else's car out of the road (it had died)... people were stuck all over the place, and there were no plows in sight (kind of ridiculous). The whole time I kept worrying about Laila and what would happen to her if we got into an accident. Super stressful. Oh, the joys of motherhood. 

Sleep!

I have two exciting sleep related pieces of news!

1) I put Laila down in her crib last night and she slept there for two hours! After she woke for her midnight feeding I tried putting her back but she was having issues staying asleep there, so I brought her back to the co-sleeper. But still! I'm very excited!! Progress has finally been made!

2) I decided to google how many hours of sleep are considered sleeping through the night and found the answer to be about 7 hours. That means that Laila has slept through the night three times now! Once back in mid February and then again the past two nights! Yay for Laila (and me)

What I Read About Breastfeeding Today

I just read this article about breastfeeding that was semi-interesting. Something about how breastfeeding helps jaw + tooth development, all of which seemed to just be conjecture based on the jaws of humans back in the day when they were hunters and gatherers - perhaps it's true, I have my doubts, but that's not the point. What really caught my eye were all of the comments. There were women talking about how they breastfed their kids until they were five years old! Other parents talked about breastfeeding multiple children in tandem. They were all talking about how much they loved the entire thing, and how it was truly what was best for the children. And to be honest, the whole thing had me feeling uncomfortable. First, I feel strongly that a five year old is too old to be breastfed. I know there are women out there who agree with me, and there are women out there who are probably outraged by what I'm saying right now, but it's my opinion. I can't tell you exactly where I draw the line at 'too old to breastfeed', but it's probably somewhere around two. I've read places that say breastfeeding until 4 is something our ancestors did, and that it was great, and maybe it worked well ... but in todays over sexualized society, the impact is bound to be different. It should be noted that I haven't done any extensive research about the longterm impact of breastfeeding older children, but it's definitely on my to do list (and I will probably give an update when I have completed this task).

The other thing that bothered me though were these women talking about how they nurse more than one child at a time. As a nursing mother I know how much time it takes up to feed just one baby, but two? I personally would never be able to do that - I need time to be me, to take care of myself and just breathe, even if it is just for a little while. I wouldn't be doing that if I was constantly needing to feed kids from my breasts - when one was finished the other would probably be hungry again. The parents were saying it didn't leave them a lot of time to get things done, but that they did inevitably do whatever they needed to. But still, I can't imagine the stress.

The point I'm trying to make here is that it should be okay for me to not want to give up my life completely so that I can breastfeed my children. I feel like there is this sect of breastfeeding fanatics who want me to feel guilty about my not wanting to breastfeed for as long as possible and for not enjoying the breastfeeding lifestyle. I'm breastfeeding because I know it is what is best for my child, not because it is something that I love doing. There seem to be these two groups of vocal woman: those who think breastfeeding is the best thing they have ever done with their lives and that it should be done for as long as possible, and those who think that formula is the way to go. I want there to be a group of vocal women who stand for the middle ground, like me! To make women like me feel normal and not guilty and to acknowledge that sometimes, if not a lot of the time, breastfeeding kind of sucks. But you do it anyway because you love your kid and you want what's best for them.

Break Time

Yesterday was a bit of a tough... I sort of had a break down. It's been about two and a half months of constantly holding Laila and caring for her - the longest I had been away from her was about an hour or two... and I think I just met my melting point. I just got frustrated and had to put her down and walk away and then I cried. I was just so frustrated because I had not slept well the previous night, and Laila just wouldn't sleep in her crib. Enzio took Laila and gave me the day off, which I really, really needed. I went to the mall with my cousin and bought Laila a dress for Passover and a cute jumper with the rest of this baby gap gift card I had. I ate ice cream, had pizza. It was awesome. Afterwards I came home and rearranged the bedroom so that our bed is against the wall, and I put Laila's co-sleeper by the wall, so that Enzio and I can cuddle again.
I think that I need to take a step back from this whole crib thing. Laila is only two months old and she might just still be too young. I just have to let things be as they are and accept them and be okay with it. Maybe it will take awhile for her to sleep in her crib, but if I keep slowly working on it then eventually it will happen. I have some ideas to hopefully ease the transition though. I'm sleeping with her sheet, having her play in her crib everyday, putting on white noise, plus I'm going to make her bedtime routine more of, well, a routine. I'm going to try giving her a bath at night, swaddle her, and read her a story. She doesn't have trouble going to sleep, only staying asleep, but still, maybe it will help. I'm also going to try and train her to be better at keeping her pacifier in her mouth. I read that while babies are awake with the pacifier in their mouth, you just gently pull on it so that they suck on it harder - do this ten times every once in a while for a few days and it will train them to keep the pacifier in their mouth better. I'm working on that- though half the time Laila just lets me take it right out of her mouth with no struggle at all.

Still Fussy - Growth Spurt?

Laila and I after a long day of fussiness. 

I am leaning towards growth spurt in terms of what's making Laila so fussy and tired today. At one point today Enzio fed her a bottle (I needed a break from breast feeding for just one moment) and she drank a bit more than 6 ounces! For her that's a lot, as far as I know. In the past when she has had bottles she eats, at most, 4 ounces. She isn't eating more often than normal, at all, but I think she's eating more when she does eat... put that together with the fussiness and the sleeping and I'm pretty sure you get growth spurt.

Fussy Fussy

Laila is super fussy today. Normally when she first wakes up in the morning she smiles nonstop for at least an hour. The smiling slowly lessens and about two hours later or so she goes to sleep. Today she smiled a little bit for about an hour and then cried and cried and fell asleep. All day she has been extremely fussy and has been sleeping on and off all day, whenever she wakes she just cries. We took her temp - 99.5 (not considered a fever at this age)... but just because she doesn't have a fever doesn't mean that she isn't sick. She could be sick, or maybe she is going through a growth spurt or something. This is putting the whole trying to get her to sleep in her crib thing on hold. Which actually went pretty well yesterday - she slept in it for half an hour two different times. I don't want to try it while she is so fussy though - I know she would just wake up right away and then scream and cry for a good long while because she would be so upset that I put her down.

Pointella

Check out my lovely friend Ella's blog!

Oral Hygiene

While I was pregnant I read that it is really important to go to the dentist because your oral hygiene goes to shit because of all the hormones etc etc. SO I found this random dentist online that was near me that had good reviews (this is a cautionary tale against doing that, by the way) and there were a couple issues. First of all, I went in asking to have my teeth cleaned and to get one of my teeth fixed where a filling had fallen out. Instead, all that happened was that the dentist talked to me and looked in my mouth and charged me $150. At the next visit he took multiple x-rays and informed me all but my front teeth have cavities. He ended up putting caps on 3 of my teeth and that maxed out my insurance - which only pays for 1/2 of it all anyway so I still had to pay about $2000 dollars. Which is just ... insane. INSANE! And of course they didn't have a payment plan, so I had to put it on my credit card. Awesome. Not only was this all overly priced, but the dental hygienist was absolutely horrible - she barely paid attention and would randomly leave the room while the dentist was working on my teeth. What the hell? Anyway, then the dentist tried to convince me to get the rest of my cavities filled even because there was no point in waiting for my insurance to kick back in in January since I would max it out again anyway before fixing all my teeth. I'm sorry, what?! It was at this point that I decided to go somewhere else to get the rest of my teeth fixed come January.
But then January came and I had a newborn baby, so it wasn't until today that I could finally get my teeth dealt with. I went to this new place my coworker recommended and it was great - the people seemed to know what they were doing and they were super nice. I got my teeth cleaned - but here's the thing - I only have two cavities, not the 10 the other dentist said I had left. And the real kicker? Those caps the other dentist gave me? Yea, they don't exist! They charged me for caps but gave me fillings! I mean, are you kidding me?! So I plan on calling them tomorrow to try and get my money back or something. I'm just glad I didn't stick with them. Ugh.

Nap time in the crib!

I have decided that it is about time to start trying to get Laila on a little bit more of a schedule. I'm starting small - making sure we don't sleep past a certain time in the morning, making a concerted effort to get her to sleep at the same time every night, and trying to get her to nap at about the same time every day. This is all a lot harder than it sounds. Part of making this work is creating a bed time ritual. I know I should probably have been doing this already, but oh well. The ritual: wrap her up and read her a book or two. I've read her books and wrapped her for bed before, but the book reading isn't consistent and the swaddling usually only happens at night. I'm also hoping to start getting her used to her crib instead of her co-sleeper since soon she will outgrow it. I figured I'd start putting her down at nap time. I've put her down a few times before while she was sleeping but she always (always!) wakes up almost immediately - ugh. But it needs to happen.

So - today is day one. Usually she takes her first nap anywhere between 12:30 and 2:30, depending on how she slept the night before. She slept great last night (thank God!), and she didn't start to show signs of tiredness until about 2:30... so I wrapped her up and read her "Harry the Dirty Dog" and she fell asleep right away! It was amazing. I held her for quite a while to make sure she was good and asleep, and then I put her down in her crib. And guess what! She's still asleep!!!! It's so exciting! YAY! I know tomorrow she will probably not fall asleep during book reading and will probably wake up when I put her in the crib, but at least it is working today - that means there is hope for the future!

Laila Today

 

 

So tired

I am so exhausted. Laila did not sleep well last night, meaning that I did not sleep well. She wouldn't go  more than three hours between feedings, she fed for about an hour at a time, and then she had trouble going back to sleep once she was done eating. So basically I slept about one hour at a time. Ugh. Then this morning when she woke up (earlier than normal) she screamed every time I tried to hold her and was only happy when her dad was walking around with her. I think it was less about me & him and more about the fact that he was walking around and she liked the movement. It was... painful. I am so exhausted that I even took a nap today for a little less than an hour before my cousins came over for a visit. I slept so soundly I missed their call and had no idea they were here until my husband came in and woke me up because they had arrived. She did not nap a lot today either ... and she was basically a fussy mess. I just hope that she sleeps really well tonight!

So Strong!

Laila is getting so good at holding her head up! She can now push herself up on her arms as well! She's my wonderful, strong little baby, and I am so proud!

2 Month Drs Appointment

Today was Laila's two month doctors appointment! As a refresher last month her head circumference was about 14.5 inches, she weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces, and she was 21 inches long. This month her head circumference is 15 inches (putting her between the 25 and 50 percentile), she weighs 10 pounds 2 ounces (between the 10 and 25 percentile) and she is 22 inches long (25 percentile). She got one oral 'shot' - I'm not sure what else to call it. Basically it is everything that a shot it except that it is administered in liquid form through the mouth, sort of like liquid cold medicine. She hated it! Poor little Laila cried and cried. Little did she know that the worst was yet to come - an actual shot! She cried for about five or ten minutes, but after some hugs and kisses she was back to her smiling self.

When we got to the doctors Enzio went to take her out of her car seat only to find that she had taken a massive poo that leaked all the way down to her toes!! After changing her she immediately started pooping again and we had to change her again. It was a bit insane. Her incessant farting made the nurse laugh! We think her diapers may be a bit tight now making the poop leak out instead of staying put - after all the newborn size says it goes to 10 pounds. So, next diaper change we are going to see how the next size up fits her! She's getting so big, but to put it in perspective I just remember that still ten pounds less than our cat Milo lol

I asked the doctor about Laila's skin, and she said that she won't necessarily have skin problems for the rest of her life. She said sometimes babies just have extra sensitive skin and that as they get older it gets less sensitive. So, that's good news! It means Laila might not be plagued with eczema for the rest of her life. The doctor also said that all her congestion might also be due to her young age, and that it might just go away when she is a bit older. I asked her about allergies (bringing up what seems to be her allergic reaction to almonds), and the doctor said that allergy testing is done at about one year of life, and that even then it isn't very reliable since they are still so young. She said the congestion etc. might be due to environmental allergies, but that there wasn't anything to be done at this point. The doctor said that unless the mucus moves to her lungs, that there isn't really anything to worry about.

It's sad to think that next month I probably won't be going with her to her doctors appointment because I will be back at work! It is going to make me sad not to be there. But, Enzio will be bringing her, so I know she will be in good hands.

Talking about work, I'm still not sure what classroom I will be working in or what hours I will be working. I've been talking with my boss trying to figure it out, but the last e-mail she sent me (which was a few days ago, and she has yet to reply to my response) basically implied that I won't be working full time anymore, but that I will be subbing instead. Considering the fact that 1) Working as a sub would mean I wouldn't get benefits and 2) i't is against the law for her not to hire me back to a full time position like that one I had before, I am quite concerned. She still hasn't replied to my response (in which I nicely told her that I was confused), but hopefully it is all one giant misunderstanding. If she doesn't respond by Friday (I sent the e-mail on Sunday I think) then I will try either calling or stopping by the school to talk to her.